Red Sox Chick/Toeing the Rubber

Because you always need a backup plan

No. Just no.

Hat tip to Kelly O’Connor for mentioning to me that she saw this shirt at Fenway Park and also for tracking it down and sending me a link.

It’s essential to follow the Official Fenway Rules when attending a Red Sox game at Fenway Park. Our Fenway Rules T-Shirt makes it easy to share the rules with others and have a great time at your next baseball game.

I’ve always had issues with people trying to tell each other how to be a fan.  Unless you’re telling someone to NOT be an idiot or a jerk, where do people get off giving folks their own “rules”?  Saying you don’t like what folks are doing is one thing but making a list of rules and throwing them on a t-shirt in an attempt to make those rules all-compassing and absolute annoys me just a bit.  The “have a great time at your next baseball game” line cracks me up.  Here’s how they want you to do that:

Leave your cell phone at home.
Wear your SOX colors.
Always root against the Yankees.
Drink beer – not merlot.
The wave is still cool – even seated with one arm.
Throw visitors home run balls back.
Sign your name on the “Pesky Pole”.
Sing “Sweet Caroline” in the bottom of the 8th.
Eat hot dogs – not sushi.
Only 2 beers at a time.

Now I’m going to have to take these one at a time.

*(leave your cell phones at home) As long as you aren’t next to me gabbing away on your phone throughout the entire game, have at your cell phone.  People take photos with them, people brag about being at the game on Twitter and Facebook with them, people keep track of what is going on in other games with them.  It’s becoming part of the experience for some people and, again, as long as you aren’t yammering in my ear, have fun with it. (Also, as a slightly nervous person lately, I keep my cell phone with me at all times, usually in my hand even if I’m not using it, in case someone needs to get in touch with me.  Because I do this, I certainly can’t judge other folks who use their cell phones as a binky.)

* (wear your sox colors) Rare is the time that I show up in Fenway without something Red Sox-related on but I’m a bit of a nut and have a closet full of Sox gear.  Spending your money on t-shirts and jerseys and caps doesn’t make you a better fan and not wearing team gear to a game doesn’t make you a bad fan.  I really don’t get this one.

* (always root against the Yankees) Well, duh.  If you’re at Fenway Park and a Red Sox fan watching a Red Sox/Yankees game that’s a bit of a no-brainer.  But what about this week?  As much as it pains me to admit, silently I was hoping for the Yankees to beat the Rays, especially after the Yanks clinched.  I suppose I could go along with some form of not liking the Yankees but if we’re being  realistic there are going to be times when the Yankees winning will be a good thing for Red Sox fans. (But I give this one a pass as I get the point is supposed to be “Don’t like the Yankees”.)

* (drink beer – not merlot) Now that’s just stupid.  Now we’re exerting our superiority over people because we don’t like what they drink?  (As an aside, I have a major gluten  sensitivity and drinking beer, though I love it, brings me much pain.  I enjoy wine just as much as beer and if it’s easily attainable I’ll have to choose it over beer if for no other reason than my health.)

*  (the wave is still cool – even seated with one arm)  The wave is never cool.  Sometimes, when little kids try to do it, it’s cute but it is never cool.  Especially not with one arm.  It is quite possibly the dumbest thing to ever take place at a ball park.  It blocks the view of the fans not doing the wave, the people doing it seem to ignore the game while doing it and there is the possibility that it could bother the batters or the pitcher.  There is NEVER a good reason to do it and it is NOT cool.  Good Lord the last thing we need is people being encouraged to do it at Fenway Park.

*   (throw visitors home run balls back)  This is a brilliant idea if you want to get tossed out of the park.  As a matter of fact, if you were doing the wave and then catch a visiting player’s home run ball I am BEGGING you to throw it back on the field.

* (sign your name on the “Pesky Pole”) That people do this annoys me.  I’m very anti-graffiti/anti-pollution.  BUT I do get that folks do it.  I just don’t think it’s mandatory.

* (sing “Sweet Caroline” in the bottom of the 8th)  If you wanna.  All I request is you don’t complain about people who do it if you choose not to.

* (eat hot dogs – not sushi) I hate the fact that they sell clam chowder in the stands at Fenway Park but only because I’m highly allergic to seafood and a reaction could kill me.  Generally speaking, though, do I really care what you eat while you’re watching the game?  Does anyone?  Why would this even be an issue?

* (only 2 beers at a time) I say this as someone who almost always has at least one beer when I attend a game:  If they did away with alcohol altogether at baseball games I would not be sad.  It would mean I wouldn’t have to deal with drunken idiots and that makes me happy.  But this “rule” is silly to me because, as anyone who goes to Fenway knows, you are only ALLOWED to purchase two beers at a time.  So, technically, this isn’t a rule it’s a regulation.  🙂

I get that folks have jumped on the “let’s make a t-shirt because Red Sox fans will buy any t-shirt we throw in front of them” bandwagon.  Red Sox shirts have become a great business to get into because Red Sox fans WILL buy just about anything you connect to the team.  But this reads as a little pushy and elitist and, really, just needless.

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September 24, 2011 - Posted by | 2011 | , ,

3 Comments »

  1. I like it better when people sing “Sweet Caroline” in the *middle* of the eighth.

    Comment by KellyO | September 24, 2011 | Reply

  2. Hee…good catch!

    Comment by Cyn | September 24, 2011 | Reply

  3. …if you were doing the wave and then catch a visiting player’s home run ball I am BEGGING you to throw it back on the field.

    This is my favorite part! 🙂

    Comment by Kristen | September 24, 2011 | Reply


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