Red Sox Chick/Toeing the Rubber

Because you always need a backup plan

So that happened…

This looks familiar (photo taken by me last March)

Admitting you’re wrong stinks.  I mean, honestly, who wants to tell the world that they made a mistake?  Who wants to share their shortcomings with the general public?  Not me, that’s for damn sure.

After making certain that someone, anyone at Remy’s read my entry about my experience there, the manager in question contacted me through the blog with an apology and an olive branch.  I responded privately because, as is often the case with me, my response went much longer than your average blog comment.  But after I sent the response, it occurred to me that the manager at Remy’s might not be the only one who needed to publicly comment.  But first, in all fairness, I wanted to repost the manager’s comment:

I’m glad I had a chance to reflect upon my handling of your experience. I 100% agree that your request was a reasonable one, and my dialogue could have been 1000 times better. I’m truly sorry that I made you think or feel for a moment that what you had to say or feel wasn’t logical or important to me, or even more importantly, to our business. Admittedly, the level of business we experienced at that time and on that day, was well beyond what we had expected or prepared for, and in no way is that an acceptable excuse for you to be made to feel anything but welcome or appreciated. I should have taken the time to be more careful, and willing to out of my way because that is my job. Instead, I made a hurried, backward logic decision in the moment that was neither in our guests’ (you) or my (the business) best interests. You should not have been punished because we were under duress. I apologize profusely, and wish to invite you back in as my guests. The entire team of Jerry Remy’s cares, and I hope you will allow us to start over and make it up to you. Please let me know if you would be willing to accept my offer, and how I could facilitate that for you.

The facts are still the facts but the response can’t be ignored either.  In my response back to the manager, I mentioned that my reasoning behind writing the entry on the blog as opposed to contacting Remy’s directly was because I felt like my opinion wasn’t of interest to Remy’s in this situation.  But in focusing on my own, highly charged, emotions, I failed to consider others.  It’s easy to pretend you live in a vacuum and I certainly feel that way sometimes but the truth is I wasn’t the only person involved in this situation and presenting my side without input from the others involved was an unfair way to tell the story.

I neither want nor expect Remy’s to treat me to anything as some kind of penance for what went down on Saturday but I do appreciate the offer being extended and I take it as a sincere gesture.  My entry on the situation, while also being the truth, was a harsh reaction to Saturday’s event and  I should have taken that pause before hitting “publish”.  Of course, I suppose had I not published the entry I wouldn’t have heard from Remy’s about it and would have probably stewed about it for much longer than I did, so while I don’t completely regret writing about it, I know that I could have worded it all better and I apologize to Kelly, the manager at Remy’s (and Remy’s) and all of you folks reading because you all deserved better.

It’s worth noting that no one asked me to take down the original entry.  As regular readers are aware, I try very hard in general to not generate too many negative vibes over here and in re-reading what I wrote yesterday the anger and negativity was steaming off of it.  I’m a big fan of saying “Just because you CAN do it doesn’t mean you SHOULD”.  That applies here.  My story, I believe, was worth being told but I know there could have been a better way to tell it.

So we live and we learn and we grow from our experiences, right?


February 28, 2011 - Posted by | 2011 |


  1. Here’s what I read go down – Scene: super busy, group-on clients (no money, no tip, pain in the ass clients), coming off the worst week-end of the year financially (willing to bet) and manager is trying to make numbers for the end of the month, out the 50% on the group-on, it’s a pile of kids, AND two people want to watch a 4 hour ball game and camp at a table; tough situation – mgr doesn’t know you two are excellent, respectful of that and good tippers. Money. It’s always Money, if the restaurant was fat, dumb and happy you could have watched porn. It’s geared towards tourists and uses a corporate platform; they knew exactly where the bottom line was that day and they needed to turn and burn. I also find it ridiculous that a restaurant will have ‘bar’ in its name and let it become romp-a-room; I want grown-up places. Clear example that you cannot be all things to all people.

    So, you taking the hush money? 😉

    Comment by hayes | March 1, 2011 | Reply

    • Don’t I wish. 🙂

      I still think it was an unreasonable response to a reasonable request but I’m willing to accept an apology I consider sincere. Who among us hasn’t acted unreasonably? (Not me! I’m never unreasonable!)

      Comment by Toeing the Rubber | March 1, 2011 | Reply

  2. I am glad you were contacted with an apology. That is entirely appropriate. I do think you have been extremely generous–and perhaps unduly so–by removing your original post. If, in the future, you find this company treats all its customers with a courtesy which facilitates an enjoyable experience, that would have been a good time for you to write about your favorable impression in order to counteract your first report. I am glad they apologized; that was necessary but I don’t think apologizing is sufficient. They haven’t exactly earned this clean slate you’ve given them just yet, in my view. As you observed, some kind of comp offer is not what is required here, either. Nice, perhaps, but irrelevant. Only time will tell. Proof of the pudding and all that. I trust you to be fair to us women fans (as well as to the management) and not to give them a glowing thumbs up unless they genuinely redeem themselves.

    Comment by Anita | March 1, 2011 | Reply

    • You bring up good points, Anita, and I think you’re right. The apology doesn’t change what happened but it, at least, makes me believe the manager did think about what he did and realized he was wrong.

      It’s interesting that you mention women fans because you weren’t the first to do so (and the first happened to be a man) but the truth is, I never felt like we were treated that way because we were women. Maybe that was an underlying factor and I was ignorant of it, but, honestly, in the moment (and in discussing it at length afterward) it didn’t occur to me that we would have been treated differently were we men. Maybe I was being willfully ignorant but it being mentioned in the comments yesterday was the first time the thought even crossed my mind. That doesn’t mean you or others suspecting it are wrong but it is something I hadn’t considered at the time or even while writing the entry yesterday.

      In the past, I have been very critical of Remy’s when I felt it was deserved (case in point: the lack of televisions in the ladies room – which has been remedied albeit in an awkward way with televisions lined on top of each other next to the bathroom sink) and I don’t plan on just letting things slide if I see reasons for criticism. But I do think I could have worded things a little differently, especially without giving others input, and that’s the reason I took the post down. I don’t think it’s always necessary to be so harsh in a public flogging.

      Your support and that of everyone else who responded is really important to me and very much appreciated. It’s good to know that people have your back!

      Comment by Toeing the Rubber | March 1, 2011 | Reply

  3. I think it was a really nice gesture on their part. I have written complaints before and not even been acknowledged.
    I guess we have to go to Remy’s soon.

    Comment by Noni | March 1, 2011 | Reply

  4. I am a big believer in apology and always try to accept it at face value. Its not an easy thing for a person to do, so when it is delivered sincerely, I am very appreciative. I’m glad to see that this fellow had the smarts and the “human ness” (not really a word, but you get the idea) to contact you. And you’re right, in the scheme of things he probably was stressed, and you may have over reacted. What’s nice about it is that two people accepted responsibility for their part in the disagreement and settled it.

    Now if we could just get the rest of the world to figure out how simple that is…we’d all live in a better place.

    Comment by Dori Burke | March 1, 2011 | Reply

  5. Very nice of the manager to offer an explanation, an apology and an offer of compensation. It may just allow him to keep his job. You should consider the free night at Remy’s. The conversation could go something like this –

    Mgr: I hope everything was to your satisfaction.

    Cyn: Yes, the steak dinner with all the fixings was very good as was the Cabernet Sauvignon. I do have some questions, though.

    Mgr: Yes, ma’am?

    Cyn: Do you have a Merlot of this label?
    Do you have a player that you could show this Red Sox DVD on the big screen?
    Do you have any long sleeve Remy’s t-shirts, as it’s a little chilly in here?
    Do you ever dedicate a table or a booth to a special customer?
    Speaking of booth, does Jerry ever invite a guest blogger into the broadcast booth?

    Comment by Sharpie | March 1, 2011 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: